004 KILL YOUR DARLINGS
Long Live Darlings
This newsletter comes to you from DARLINGS- a savage edit of things that deliver disproportionate value and beauty.
Welcome to the very first perfectionist-identifying, anti-gatekeeping, hyper-specific, power-niche, icon-obsessed, chic-grandpa-coded email newsletter.
The joy of the very last drop
Today Darlings launches the shop– a cost and category agnostic edit for durability, function, beauty, and satisfaction. From Hermès to hardware– everything is guaranteed to boost your stoke for life, or your money back.
The world asks us to tolerate (and live with) a thousand mediocre objects. Darlings is a rebellion against that arrangement.
We sift it way down to the best across every category:
Wear,
Utility,
Home and
Ritual.
We also savage edit our savage edit to the canons, the forevers, the hall of fame, the GOATS among GOATS.
In this issue:
A deep dive on four icons available today on darlingsworld.com.
Thank you so much for subscribing.
Darlings loves you.
Read on!
♾️
Metal Tube Wringer, Gill Mechanical, USA
The Larry David of 1970s hardware inventors, John Gill fueled his brilliance with petty annoyances to create a masterwork of his time.
Albeit rare, he was triggered to invention by discarded tubes still 5% full. Paint, ointment, toothpaste, adhesive, and more– the last squeeze wasted.
He decided to act. Borrowing “empty” tubes of paint from local children, he engineered and tested this delightful machinery.
When the tomato paste is nearly done you will jump like an elf to grab your Crimper. When it’s down to a drop of Sensodyne you will scream as you wring it smoothly onto your brush.
Though rarely used, it turns the end of a tube into a special occasion. Great gift. Children love it.
Shop > THE JOY WRINGER
Lid Opener, Gilhoolie, USA
Poor men. It seems with every passing year, the trad husband job description abbreviates exponentially. There is an ominous voice suggesting the job itself may become redundant or phased out altogether soon. Taskrabbit is a great product.
But about that jar. Where is he now. You run it under water and bang it with a knife, but now the edges are cut up and sharp, disabling you from turning it at all with your hand. So you grab a towel, too slick.
Well maybe you don’t want raspberry jam after all. Maybe you DO need a boyfriend. Or maybe not! This tool pops open jars with barely one hand. A great post-divorce, graduation, or breakup present.
Shop > THE BOYFRIEND REMOVER
Sunglasses, Ray-Ban, USA
You know Snoopy? Super nice guy. Even puts up with Woodstock’s messy habits, poor flying skills, and tendency to interrupt. But you better watch out when Snoop puts the shades on. Whole different unbothered dude. So different he changes his name to Joe Cool.
The Original Wayfarer pulls you into character– swaying under the Avatar tree with all the ancestral Joe Cools that Wayfared before you. The graphic frames are so recognizable and iconic they heighten the individual qualities of the wearer, pulling faces into a canon of standard issue, unbothered cool.
Shop > THE ETERNAL WAYFARER
Calvi Leather Bi-Fold Wallet, Hermés, France
Two origami-folded compartments, deeply spacious with a tiny profile. Made in super soft leather, the shape expands to hold a shocking number of cards. Darlings recommends the soft goatskins– Chèvre Mysore and Chèvre de Coromandel.
It is a personal object that molds over years. Because, be real– how many cards do we need to carry?
Out of everything Hermés makes, the Calvi humbly earns its price instead of being a billboard for what you paid. Takes the service entrance while the Birkins take the front.
Shop > THE BETTER PART OF VALOR
Bath Gel, Vitabath, USA
In Dynasty, Joan Collins plays Alexis. She shatters the Carrington family peace over decades with her dedication to high stakes scheming and willingness to go low. In Season 3, Alexis and Blake’s new wife, Krystle (a name) square off by the estate’s lily pond. The confrontation escalates quickly, ending with a drag-out over and through the mud. Joan doesn’t play, but when she does she plays dirty.
In contrast, when she’s not ruining lives, her character is often filmed naked in the bath. And there, she is suddenly a kitten.
Vitabath is being in the bath with Joan Collins. Thick green gel, giant pump bottle, aggressively [haters will say aggressive] bright scent— pine, patchouli, rosewood, steam, eucalyptus. The formula is beyond concentrated and turns bathwater evil Disney stepmother green. Despite or maybe because of its intensity, it shifts the mood in the right direction. How do you say, vibe shift?
Shop > BATHTIME WITH JOAN
Stay Iconic.
See you next week.
♾️
ICONS RITUAL HOME UTILITY WEAR GIFTS
Nailed it. I have that wallet and have always been obsessed with the smell of vitabath. Buying now